There's something truly captivating about the idea of belonging – it has this way of reaching every corner of my heart. And what's even more intriguing? This feeling has been with me since I was a young girl.
Trying to figure out where I fit in, nationality-wise? It's like a big puzzle. I left my home country when I was just 20 and went on this whirlwind adventure around the world. All I wanted was to find a place where I could truly belong. I found acceptance in places like England, France, Holland, and Spain, and that felt incredible. But, there was this tiny feeling, this little "but" that wouldn't go away. Like, I was accepted, but not completely. And, on top of that, there were things about these places that I couldn't fully embrace.
And now, here I am, all Spanish. I brought my parents along on this journey too. And when my dad passed away, he found his resting place in Spain. It's both comforting and bittersweet.
Honestly, I'm on this mission to find where I fit in, even if it means bending my own values a bit. It's like a constant balancing act, especially when it comes to cultural differences. I have this mix of emotions, this love-hate relationship with it all. Where can I find that sweet spot? Maybe in moments of solitude, in nurturing my spiritual growth, in expressing myself through art, and in lending a helping hand to others?
There's this serene field by the graveyard where my dad rests. It's a place where I can just be me, and it's like a sanctuary for my thoughts. I reflect on time, boundaries, values, nationality, and my place in society.
Stepping out of the poetic zone for a moment, I chose this path for myself. I'm walking it with hope in my heart. Picture a field painted with the most beautiful flowers – that's our world, no matter where we are. The sheer beauty of it all remains, whether we blend in seamlessly or stand out. Through every twist and turn, I have myself, my essence. Yet, it can be a challenge to let go of the masks and show the world the real, unfiltered me. Despite my complex journey and the many roles I play, it's those experiences that shape the unique person I am. No one can ever take that away. And my art? It's like a bridge connecting my inner world with the people I want to touch with my creativity.
You know, looking back, I think I've intertwined two pieces of myself here: the ache of losing my dear dad and my continuous exploration of who I am at my core. Slowly, I'm realizing that these two aspects are deeply connected. My pain fuels my creativity, and my roots give me strength, a foundation to build upon. Maybe, just maybe, that sense of balance I'm searching for is nestled within those roots. I'm still on this beautiful journey of discovery, and I'll be honest – I don't have all the answers, but that's perfectly okay.